Let's get back to overcoming the chatterbox demons that create fear, negative self-talk, lack of confidence, and self-hatred. (This is sort of where I left off.)
The opposite of finding everything that's wrong with your life is finding everything that's right with it.
My dad raised me to hate the government. And I did for a long time until one day I had an emergency with my first husband.
He was beating me up. I grabbed for the phone, dialed 9-1-1 and within less than a second he cut the phone cord with the knife he was about to stab me to death with.
Within less than 2 minutes (and I'm not exaggerating), there were several officers at my door. They saved my life and he was hauled off to jail.
My view of the government changed.
When my dad continues to bitch about the government, I tell him to live somewhere else. You see, unlike him, I've traveled out of the country quite a few times. In many countries still even in 2012, there isn't clean running water.
Where else in the world are you going to get clean running water into your home for about $50 a month or less?
When my views about the government changed, the legal entanglements I had with the government also instantly cleared up including a judgement that was almost $2 million on 2 of my 3 credit reports. Like...almost overnight.
But I still didn't put 2 and 2 together yet.
How difficult is it to find the good in something...anything?
So, I started with my ex-husband who has been the center of most of my misery for the better part of the past few years.
My ex-husband, for the most part, is a decent guy. He could be worse. Instead of focusing on what I dislike, I focused on how he gave me a beautiful daughter who is my entire world and means everything to me. In fact, nothing means more to me than my little girl. And what a wonderful life-changing gift that is!
Suddenly he started becoming very amicable about custody issues. He finally got a job (which was the reason we split up) just out of the blue. He started becoming nicer to me pretty much overnight. He even agreed to start taking much less money in spousal support.
I'm like..."This must be working!"
Over the past 18 months I've been really upset about one of my companies. I've been sending so much hatred in the direction of the business. It has methodically been going down the tubes for the past year and a half because of my negativity and dislike that I've been sending in the form of energy (thoughts) in the direction of the business from hating the products to hating the employees.
Then I started thinking about it. I began thinking of how grateful I am for being able to service people and having such a profound, positive impact on people's lives with the product line. I started thinking of the business as a living, breathing entity and feeling a sense of gratitude for what the business has provided for my life both financially and personally.
Within a few days the company completely turned around.
Meanwhile, a brand new company I've been struggling with for the past few months had some grateful feelings injected into it. I started feeling grateful that I came up with such an awesome product idea and how wonderful it'll feel like to bring it into the marketplace. I was feeling grateful about what a great job I did on some of the product design and what a gift it is to have an eye for such detail (while enjoying the design process). I felt grateful for having a staff in place to help me with certain business details.
Within 2 weeks the entire outlook of the business changed from being completely "dead" to getting million-dollar product contracts with wholesale distributor/suppliers.
I've done this "gratitude technique" over and over again with issues such as my marriage, businesses, investing, my body, and everything else that I believed was creating obstacles or negativity for me.
The technique...
What I began doing was listing, in my mind, all the things I am extremely grateful for. I'd shoot for at least 3 things. Then I'd add 2 more. Then I'd try to make it to 10. I wouldn't write them down. Instead I'd focus on how I felt and allowed myself to really and truly feel grateful for each one without rushing through a written list.
And I'd do this as I'm going to sleep.
Sometimes I wouldn't start with the major things I'm grateful for. I'd start with the little things. I'd choose 3 things that happened in my day that were awesome. Then I'd try to find a couple more. Then I'd pick the most awesome thing out of the list I created.
I'd actually feel great, warm, and fuzzy as I started falling asleep instead of sad and full of anxiety as I have been in the years prior.
(By the way, let me mention that when you have sad, depressing, angry, or fearful thoughts all the time, especially all the time before bed, eventually your life starts to come apart at the seams as my life had been. It really does a lot more damage than you think!)
In the morning, I'd start listing a few things I anticipated as being awesome for that day...even if it was a certain lunch I planned on having! I'd get pumped up and excited about...anything. Literally anything big or small! And if I had nothing particular to look forward to, I'd make sure I'd think about how I'd want a certain project to turn out or about ordering something online and make it a point to add that into my day.
Pretty soon, I started thinking differently. My mind actually began rejecting negativity. The second something negative came into my mind, I didn't have to force myself to think "positive." Instead my mind automatically started wanting to focus on better, more positive outcomes and things that made me happy.
I have a short list of things I need to focus on in order to get me back to that "warm and fuzzy" place of gratitude that has been miraculously shifting my life. The more times I get to that place, the better and more effortlessly my life tends to flow.
But there's another part to this...the part "they" never talk about.
You know what?
Let's talk about that one tomorrow.
(I promise.)
;-)
See you at the top!
Your mentor,
Monica Main
