I'm kind of embarrassed -- even though it's technically not my "fault," if you will.
You see, like many other people, I was thrown into the public school system. And it wasn't a very good one either.
It wasn't until recently (a few weeks back, actually) that I had come to understand the history of Martin Luther King, Jr. which started with me looking at this bus (see pic below) which is at the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit.
This bus is the original bus that Rosa Parks was on...and refused to move from her seat, resulting in her arrest and the subsequent civil rights revolution that quickly followed.
Standing next to this bus gave me goose bumps. To know that this bus is the "site" that kicked off such a huge revolutionary piece of history put me in an instant state of awe.
But on the flip side of that moment, it saddened me that even though rights for many people have been forced to become "equal," it's not really all that "equal" still to this day. A lot of people still carry racial prejudice, especially in certain areas of the country. Women still aren't paid as much as men in the same work positions or career fields. And too many people still focus on hatred when they should be focusing on bettering themselves and their lives.
One thing I appreciate about Martin Luther King, Jr. was his ability to make all of his demonstrations and marches peaceful. If you're going encourage others to follow suit with what you want, you can't do it in a destructive and disrespectful manner otherwise you get the opposite effect. Using peace as a way for others to follow is quite profound.
Way to go!
Now I'd like to stick my 2-cents in. (You knew that was coming, right?)
The biggest claim to fame for Martin Luther King, Jr. was his "I have a dream" speech which revolved around the concept of true freedom. But what I'm noticing is that most people aren't free nor will they ever be despite their race, religion or creed. Even though you can free yourself from physical captivity, does anyone really free themselves from psychological "captivity"?
How many times have you stopped yourself from achieving a dream, drive, or desire because you talked yourself out of it for one reason or another. Or you didn't make the time to pursue it. Or you told yourself you'd never make it so...why bother?!
Each one of us can empower ourselves by immediately refusing to see any exterior obstacles and quickly beginning to destroy our inner blocks that we have burdened ourselves with.
And that includes me, too.
For many years, I told myself that the reason I had such a hard time in commercial real estate was because it's a male dominated career field and these men running this business would never take me seriously.
And guess what?
They didn't take me seriously, they mistreated me, they minimized my experience and assumed I knew nothing about the business, and they blew me off time and time again.
Then one day, I got pissed off. I saw red. And I blew up at a commercial real estate agent starting with calling him a varied spectrum of curse words within a matter of seconds and then following that up by demanding exactly what I wanted. And I didn't ask him what I wanted. I told him what he was going to do for me.
And he did it.
The "prejudice" that I had built up in my mind all of those years instantly disappeared and I opened up a whole new world for myself.
I never turned back. I didn't buy back into my old belief system anymore which was, in short, that I would be mistreated or not taken seriously by the men in the commercial real estate world. Once I stopped buying into that lie, the mistreatment disappeared overnight.
It's amazing what we bring onto ourselves when we're not paying attention, isn't it?
Now, I'm not saying that the prejudices stop existing when you refuse to pay any mind to it. I'm saying that the prejudices will stop existing to you when you stop paying it any mind.
And that's all that matters.
I know certain men in the industry have blown me off because of me being a woman but...guess what? I don't pay attention anymore and I quickly say,"Next!" And I find a seller or broker or someone who wants to work with me that wants to get paid! I quickly discovered that there are a lot of people who want to get paid and could care less who is buying a property.
But how many situations did I find myself in after my epiphany where those same men who would have harassed me didn't because they saw a strong woman who means business instead? (If I continued to carry that negative belief about myself then they would have seen the weak woman I was and therefore treated me as such.)
I can't change the prejudices and the "wrongs" in the world.
I can help change what's going on inside of you. That's my only job. You can't control other people and you never will be able to. You can only control you and what's going on inside of you.
I have a very friend of mine. His name is Carthel. I met him a couple of years ago at a seminar event of mine...that someone else dragged him to (and he really didn't want to be there). He's an African American gentleman who had a pretty tough upbringing and I have discovered that he is still struggling with much of the old "tribal" affirmations that he was taught as truth when he was growing up.
One day we had a very powerful heart-to-heart talk about certain attitudes people have, especially in specific racial cultures. One of the reasons why he chose to move up into a neighborhood near me was to ensure that his children didn't grow up the same way he had. He wanted them to live a better life but I think, mostly, he didn't want them to see the color lines that he had come to learn so well.
But Carthel is still having a hard time breaking away from those cultural beliefs. He'll tell me how he notices people staring at him in a grocery store or some other place. Because he's black, he'll tell me. And because it's Valencia, California where it's mostly white upper class.
What Carthel doesn't know is that people aren't staring at him because he's black. (Or maybe because he is so well dressed...wouldn't people staring be a compliment? I stare at well-dressed men all the time.) People are staring at him because he expects they'll stare at him. Once he loses that belief that people will stare at him in public because he's a black man in a white dominated area, people will stop staring at him.
Or he'll stop noticing.
Or he'll stop caring.
When his kids get older, provided that he doesn't feed their belief system the same way his was built, not only will his children never notice anyone staring at them because they're black but they'll more than likely never get stared at because that energy has never been forced within them as a false belief.
I don't stare at anyone with an odd look unless they give me a sideways glance, shoot me a "mad dog" look, or make me feel uncomfortable in some way. Or maybe I glance up at people as I'm walking through a store because I don't want to knock them over with my cart, sending them flying into the table full of discounted donuts.
Being in Southern California, we are very well and evenly racially blended. My neighbors are South Korean, Indian, and Hispanic...all bordering my property. That's very normal in So Cali. So, having been in So Cali for 26 years, I'm not "staring strangely" at anyone unless they give me the "vibe" that makes me want to stare at them.
And I think that's what Carthel is doing.
What types of "vibes" are you throwing out there? Notice it. Embrace it Take responsibility for it.. And most importantly, change it! What you throw out there is dictating how people are treating you.
Yes, people will still come around and "abuse" you in some way sometimes. That's because a lot of people are ugly inside, they hate themselves and who they are, and they'll take it out on someone for any reason in an effort to make themselves feel a fraction better before recessing back into the black hole they call their soul. Stop feeding into it otherwise you will never have that "freedom" that Martin Luther King, Jr. was talking about. That "freedom" comes from inside of you and not through how others treat you.
When you feel spectacular about yourself, other people will automatically respond to that by treating you the way you feel. The sloths, deadbeats, and losers who thrive on mistreating others will simply pass you and find another victim who clearly doesn't feel that good about himself. And they'll pick on him instead of you. They'll stare at him instead of you. They'll call him names instead of you. But it least it won't be you.
Oprah is the woman of success I've always looked up to the most. She had a quote which I've just recently have come to understand: "I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism and sexism."
Notice she said that she was raised to believe this. That went a long way with her...coming to know that from a young age. This was ultimately what was responsible for her success because she was able to knock down every possible obstacle due to this simple yet powerful belief.
This is something I was able to use in my own life. When I do the best I can and I've risen to excellence, it really has obliterated the sexism I experienced. But I think it was the excellence I've come to know within myself that was ultimately responsible for men treating me better in the field of commercial real estate investing. And in other areas of my life as well.
Breaking News!
Monica Main in a Midlife Crisis?
Still?? Maybe...
But She's About to Reveal Some Interesting Money-Making Secrets to You in the Process!!
Since When Does Being Better Mean a "Crisis"?
Okay, so I lied. A little.
I think I'm just an addict. Sort of like being on a diet yet waking up in the wee hours of the morning to sneak a cookie out of the cookie jar, just to smack yourself in the head for being such a "loser." Especially after the 15th cookie when it was supposed to be "only one cookie" you were going to eat.
Yeah...something like that.
Yet this applies to me when it comes to the "bling," especially with cars.
Last month I was talking about how shallow all my neighbors are with their "one-ing up each other" with their toys and nonsense.
And I always thought I was a cut above them...being more "spiritual" and all. Yet, I guess I'm really not when you think about it.
Because here I am with my latest purchase as of this past Saturday...but at least I cut back a little. This car isn't $105,000 like the last one was. This one isonly $85,000 so...I guess I'm getting a little more "conservative" in my old age, right?
Then I thought about it yesterday.
There's nothing more awesome than being able to celebrate financial freedom. When I drive these "ultimate driving machines" like this, in addition to not wanting to age (since I'll be 40 this June), I'm actually celebrating how awesome it is to be a single mother, newly divorced (not quite yet but you get the point), and being able to financially sustain myself. Very well, I might add!
That is something to celebrate, don't you think?
I had some old man try to race me in his black Mercedes SL63 yesterday at the stop light. And I let him go. He was trying to prove that he had a bigger d*** than me. And he's right. He does. Good for him and his 3-year old Mercedes than does have a bigger engine than my car but...at least I'm still in my 30s and...well, he's not. He just has a bigger d*** and older engine, in more ways than one.
Loser.
And I have my financial independence, a lovely daughter, a beautiful home, and a life that's only about to begin. (My mom always told me, "Life begins at 40." So, we'll see very soon! I'm excited!!)
Plus, I don't need a man to make my life work, especially from the financial perspective. That makes me extremely proud of myself.
Why am I going on and on with this egotistical email?
Because, I want to help you get to where I'm at as quickly as possible with my vast knowledge on the subject of making money. Believe it or not, Grasshopper, it'sunbelievably freaking easy to get the financial freedom you want in life if you're willing to focus a little and put a tiny bit of work into it.
I can't tell you how to make a marriage work because my track record says otherwise.
I can't tell you how to have an awesome family because mine sucks ass.
And I can't tell you how to make friends because I don't have any.
But I can tell you how to make money. And lots of it.
Because it's the only thing I'm good at.
Now that I think about it, if I had to choose between being broke yet with family and friends vs. making tons of money yet having no one around then I guess I have the best of either available option. And it's the one I'd choose time and time again.
If you're a woman and you're not coming up to par on where you'd like to be financially, start taking immediate responsibility and take the bull by the horns. Right now. Today!
If you're a guy, same applies. There's no reason to let your life pass by while your psychological manhood diminishes because you can't make the grade financially. Because I'm here to help you, too. You just have to be willing to set aside everything you know (or think you know) and start doing something fruitful in your life. Right now. Today!
I got an email from a student of mine last week who was going on and on about how he scours the Internet for different business opportunities yet he has nothing to show for the thousands of dollars he's purchased in courses, videos, trainings, etc. And he continues each day looking at different opportunities, just to find himself in the same boat. Getting nowhere, and fast!
And that's his problem, folks.
He's buying opportunities. He's not participating in opportunities. If you know what I mean.
You can't just buy a bunch of stuff and think the stuff will do something for you while you're watching CSI and Dancing with the Stars.
You have to put the stuff you learn into action and actually do something with it.
Now, to be 100% fair, I will admit that 99.99% of the stuff out there that you'll buy on the topic of making money is completely bogus.
It's just designed for them to make money while putting you in a state of confusion.
And that's why I decided to stay in the picture for a short while longer while pressing forward with my highly effective and massively profitable Aggressive Income Strategies for my students.
It's 100% about Aggressive Income Strategies.
And stuff you've probably never been introduced to before.
Now, my students should know what I'm about by now and you should also know that I don't talk about stuff I don't believe in including MLM (network marketing), affiliate Internet marketing, or anything that's either too hard, too confusing, or doesn't work.
Here's what it's all about:
How to make an untold fortune from information publishing, a topic I've never discussed with my students before! And this secret can be worth millions each year to you!!
How to make a killing with simple little Amazon Kindle books...an easy $20,000 per month Kindle publishing formula that will blow your mind!
How to set up a stand-alone website in lightning speed that can sell anything from health supplements to downloadable ebooks that can earn you $50,000 per month -- and this is a type of website you've probably never considered before!
How to set up a basic home-based distribution/wholesale business from scratch requiring no employees or overhead that can potentially net you $35,000 a month!
How to build a "mail order" business from your kitchen table that can make you $20,000 to $80,000 per month and this ain't your typical "mail order" that you've ever seen before!
How several of my students are cashing in big on both eBay and Amazon...and I'll reveal exactly what each of them are doing so that you can "copy and paste" their success to explode your bank account!
Some of you know about this new kitten I have by the name of Pineapple. It's a boy. I'm not used to boy kitties. And he's a kitten.
Not used to that either. And quite frankly, I think I'm getting a bit too old for the kitten bit.
Although Pineapple is a sweetheart, he's just out of control. I thought by getting him snipped (if you know what I mean) that would control him a bit but...I was wrong. It just put a damper on him a tiny bit but he's still wildly out of control. However, he is only about 6 months old so what else could I expect?!
About 11 years ago, I ended up with 2 kittens by the name of Scooby and Bobo. They will be 11 in May of this year. I took it upon myself to make them "house cats" because I was tired of being heartbroken by cats disappearing, being eaten by coyotes, being stolen by neighbors, or just never coming home again. So, I decided from the get-go that these 2 kittens would never go outside or know the big bad dangerous world known as the "outdoors."
Now that I'm a decade older and wiser, I realize that maybe I've deprived them of some type of life. Don't get me wrong. My 2 fat ass cats have no interest in going outside. But that's because it's too late for them to want an adventure in their senior lives.
With Pineapple, I can't keep him detained if I wanted to. You see, he tries darting out the door -- any door -- any chance he gets. A few times he's escaped. I've had to quickly run after the little dude, scoop him up, and toss him back inside.
Right before my trip to Michigan a couple of weeks ago, I was taking out the trash and the little guy escaped out my side door. It was nighttime and he ran off into my backyard, into the complete darkness. So, after mouthing some swear words, I ventured off into the darkness after him.
Suddenly the sprinklers went on with a loud hiss. It scared him so bad that he jumped back...into the swimming pool. I heard all of the watery thrashing about and turned on the pool lights to see the little guy struggling to swim in the deep end. "F***!" I'm thinking. Here the water was 46 degrees and I was preparing to jump in after the little dude when he actually swam (or thrashed) to the edge and leaped out on his own. (It was only the day before when my daughter was asking if domestic cats can swim...I guess some of them can as I've recently come to discover.)
I had to shut off the sprinklers, grab a flashlight, and run back out there where I found the drowned-rat looking cat cowering in the bushes. I swooped him up, took a chest clawing from hell, and brought him back into the house where I used one of my daughter's prized blankets to dry him off.
As I was warming his little body up, I realizes something significant.
Little Pineapple is an adventurer and who am I to keep him detained inside for the rest of his life just because I don't want to be heartbroken by a possible loss?
What is life without going out to experience things, even if it means getting hurt (or dying) in the process?
Pineapple isn't meant to be detained inside. And I can't possibly keep him housebound for a decade or longer (like I have with my girls)...until he passes away. He's not built for that type of lifestyle.
And neither is anyone else.
Neither are you.
So, I decided that I'll get him chipped, get an ID tag, and slowly introduce him to the outdoors. Then one day, I'll let him out until he finds his way back home. Or not.
He may never find his way back home one day. If that's the case, I know that he lived the life he wanted to with all the exciting experiences his short life span would have given him.
Have you chosen "safe" over "adventure"?
Have you given up your life for fear of loss, danger, or excessive risk?
Have you stopped living altogether?
When it comes to your children, do you find yourself "protecting" them when maybe you should let them go onto a life of experiences and adventure?
We all aim for comfort and a life of least resistance, if you've noticed. We get disappointed or upset when things aren't "perfect."
But did you know that you're here on this earthly plane to push through difficulty and adversity to freaking learn something? And how do you learn anything if everything is cozy and perfect?
I've gotten so many emails from people who think they should be "farther along" in life and yet they feel like they're slipping backwards.
And if you're one of those people, you're only slipping backwards if you're standing still (i.e. doing nothing with your life). If you're plugging away and moving forward in any positive direction, even if you're not sure it's the right direction, you're not slipping backwards and you're certainly not wasting any time.
Like Pineapple, maybe it's time to make a dash for the door to ultimately open up a whole new world for yourself. After all, how will you ever know about anything else that can be out there for your life unless goactually get out there and experience something?
Sure, you'll probably fall on your ass a few times. So what? I think we always fear much more than what will actually happen to us in reality. And sometimes what we perceive as failure is pretty damn fun. If you've ever slipped in a mud puddle, you'd know that making mud pies or having a mud fight is pretty damn fun while you're down there.
When a student emails me and says, "I'm afraid to try. I'm afraid to get started. What if I fail?"
Well, if you don't get off your dead ass to do something, you've already failed.
And, one more thing...
If you are in a situation (as most American's are) where you need to "transition" from your job to the New Economy opportunities then you are in a situation where you must make the economic change over...or you'll financially perish in the next couple of years.
I have to first say that I have an awesome bunch of students and I mostly enjoy reading all the emails I get throughout the week. I have some strong "warriors" out there as I like to call them. And I believe that many of you listen to me via email because I'm no-nonsense, I tell it like it is, and I don't hold back. (Life is way too short to worry about being so "politically correct" all the time.)
Of course, there's always the "bad apple" emails that I receive here and there. The good news is that, as the years roll on and the unsavory folk opt out of my email lists (or forget how to read), I find that the cream of the crop is floating to the top when it comes to my student base.
But, here we have a situation (which I suspected would happen) where somebody got all butt-hurt over a comment I made about Detroit and actually had the audacity to demand that I "apologize" to Detroit about what I said.
Here's what Kenneth W. emailed me exactly 6 times in a row:
"My God tell me how you really feel about Detroit, Mi ....... if the negative Image of a city is what you want to focus on then go on and continue to do so ....... I guess it's easy for you to come and express your feeling about a city that you only want to see what you want to see and hear what you want to here about Detroit that cool doe ....... Detroit is a great city with great people in it maybe if you spend a little more time to fine that out you wouldn't spoke so harshly about the city ....... I sure there's areas in your city that's not all roses ....... that don't mean the city and the people are bad ....... you got me not at all wanting to do business with you or buy any more of your products ....... because of your comments and oh yeah if the Politicians say in there Campaign that you gonna do something than get done ....... instead of pocketing the money ....... you no you owe the city of Detroit an Apology for this email that you had send out ....... You Reap what You Sow ....... ; \"
Apologize to a destitute city? How the hell does that work? Would this be the time I stand on a soap box in Detroit with a megaphone saying, "Detroit, I'm so sorry!" Would I get to eek out these words before or after I get mugged or beaten down for my purse and jewelry by this "great city" full of so many "great people"?
Okay, Kenneth. I guess that says it all about both you and Detroit. And no, I won't apologize to a broken down city and I certainly won't apologize to you about something I said about something that doesn't really apply to you directly.
As I said in my email before, it's typical that people of Detroit (as I'm assuming Kenneth is from there) that they blame other people (notably the politicians) for how horrible things are. Okay, so move out then if it sucks so bad. Last time I checked, nobody had a gun to your head (including the politicians) to make you stay there.
The other thing I find interesting is that he claims I said that all the people are bad. I never said all the people were bad in Detroit.
(Would this guy be one of those students who I'm talking about...who is on the verge of forgetting how to read?) What I did say is that people of certain areas of the country think a certain way...because they know nothing else. And the only way to expand your mind to discover something else is to leave.
Here are some other emails from a couple of awesome students to corroborate what I'm referring to:
This is from Lori H...
"My husband is from Detroit Michigan. He was in Detroit for business in July 2013 and visited the home where his Grandmother lived when he was a child. The home has been condemned and is in a shambles. His Aunt was in tears seeing the photos.
It's hard to see a place that you remembered so fondly in complete disarray. I guess it's true what they say, you can't go back home."
Not that you can't go back home but that maybe you simply shouldn't.
Here's an email from Jason P...
"I am from Detroit and have lived here all my life. I started to feel slightly offended until I caught myself. To be honest, the Heidelberg Project IS a junk heap! Furthermore, the attitude you spoke of is pervasive in the Midwest. I'm not giving people passes but I understand where the mentality comes from. Our region is based on 'go to school and get a 'good job'' or 'work for the factories, get health benefits and a 401 k.' mantra. It has always been the worst possible advice that was given to unsuspecting kids who subsequently had their dreams killed. When I considered that and having traveled to other places, I could not help but agree with you. Honesty helps everyone while denial kills it's user.
Long story short...I believe in all that you said. I am a true 'capitalist pig' and have no plans to change. I'd rather be who I am, an entrepreneur, than a person seeking a job and familiar limiting relationships. Give me all the unfamiliar I can handle in all the varied places of the world with more experiences and ideas than ever imagined! It sucks being one of a small crowd that many think are wrong and only driven by money. A few people believe in what you say and are here for you too. Don't change a thing about what you do."
Don't worry, I don't plan on changing anything about what I do. And yes, you are correct. This is the mentality of certain areas of the country, especially the Midwest. That's why I had the lengthy discussion with my step-son about leaving, even for a short time.
Because when he comes back, the area will be the same but he will be a completely different person. I just hope he takes me up on my offer because it will probably save his life.
And maybe Kenneth needs to leave too. Otherwise he'll always think that a city that resembles a 4th world war zone will be "great."
(Kenneth should at least watch a documentary about other places to see what he's missing out on.)
When I throw something out there, I'm not doing it to piss people off. I'm doing it to be honest about what's going on with me so that maybe you can get something from it to benefit yourself.
Unfortunately, if you're one of those people who gets offended by the truth or can't see anything usable in my personal experiences then perhaps it's time we part ways. (I'll live.)
However, what I need to drive home, yet again, is that things are not what they used to be, folks. And you've probably figured that out years ago.
If you're going to make the changes you want in all the areas of your life that you know need to change -- or if you're going to be forced into change because your job is gone or the path you thought was your "life path" has been terminated -- then you need to put your sensitivities aside and start focusing like a warrior on what you can do to come up to speed with the New Economy.
Or you'll perish on every level. Simple as that!
Our recent society has taught us that we need to "apologize" when one person out of millions is sitting in a corner crying because he's butt-hurt that somebody said something that "offended" him personally...even though it wasn't directed to him personally.
And this has made us a weak sissy population of people.
Sorry but if somebody calls somebody else a bitch, I simply don't give a rat's ass because I have better sh** to think about. And if somebody calls me a bitch directly, I especially don't give a rat's ass. (I have been called a bitch and I actually take it as a compliment. Demented, I know.)
A true warrior doesn't demand apologies over nonsense because this type of crap doesn't bother a warrior. Instead, the warrior just moves on in his (or her) very focused plight to get the life that he (or she) wants. And that's all everyone should be focused on. Why waste your precious thoughts and energy on anything else?
The good news is that this chronic whining and complaining will separate the men from the boys and the women from the girls which is something that needs to desperately happen. And it is happening. The whiners will end up getting exactly nowhere in life. And the rest will end up being the winners that take all.
Fortunately for you, that set of winners will be a very small percentage...less than 10% of the total US population I'd guess (and that's being generous). That means getting what you want in life will be super easy (because of the lack of competition) if you're focused and committed since everyone else will be wasting time posting comments on Yahoo! about the latest Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt scandal (and demanding a personal apology in the process because they were "offended" by it in some way) or standing in a 4-day line for the iPhone 6.
Time for you to step up...or sit down and die. I already know what I'm doing with my life. Tag, your it! Now it's your turn to figure out which side you choose. And, in case you haven't figured it out yet, you only have 2 choices: Do something or die miserable.
Many of you know that I have a connection to Detroit, Michigan. My husband Ronnie lives there and apparently plans to continue living, breathing, and probably dying there. Last week I took a final trip through the ghettos of Detroit right before the snow came piling in and mostly to check out what they call the Heidelberg Project...but also to say my final good-byes.
Long story short about the Heidelberg Project, a bunch of artists decided to dress up a bunch of abandoned homes on a couple of blocks in one of the most downtrodden residential areas of Detroit...for "artistic expression," I guess. This is where the definition of what "art" is can be left up for debate because I didn't see anything art-worthy about the experience. (It reminded me of being in a Halloween nightmare after ingesting high amounts of acid. See below for a gander of what I'm talking about.)
Long story short about saying my final good-byes, anyone who says a long-distance relationship or marriage can work is lying. And I'll leave it at that. It doesn't take a genius to read between the lines.
I had a conversation with my step-son about the importance of leaving the Midwest, even for a couple of years, just to expand your mind.
You see, I'm from the Midwest. Chicago to be exact. My dad had a long-time desire to leave even if it killed him. So, the day after my 11th birthday, we packed up and moved to Panama City, Florida for a couple of years. He had financial difficulties surviving in a then-smallish town that thrived only on tourism. So, we packed up right after I turned 13 and off to southern California we went. I've been there ever since.
I explained to my step-son that when I had the opportunity to visit friends in Chicago only a handful of years later after I had left, it's like the entire place shrank in size. My friends were still talking about the same things. They never moved on past grade school even though they were in high school at that time. And I immediately realized I had nothing in common with them anymore. I vowed never to see them again and I haven't seen any of them ever since.
Each time I go to Michigan, nothing seems to change. In fact, Ronnie still associates with people he knew in kindergarten! (Un-freaking-believable in my world...not that there's anything wrong with that.) Their broken down buildings seem to get more decrepit. Everyone complains about local government and blames "them" for not doing anything about the problems of Detroit. And everyone has the same "claims to fame" that never change such as..."Oh, Eminem is from Detroit." (Who cares?! And, by the way, he was born in Missouri and not Michigan!)
There you have the Detroiter's claim to fame: Eminem. Since very few people want to get off their asses to do anything on their own, it's much easier to ride on the fame coattails of someone else.
Now, I'm not being a "hater" or anything. Some people need more motivation. Others are born to be "doers." But as motivated of an individual as I am, I find it very difficult to be productive in such a depressed place as Detroit, Michigan where getting out of bed seems like a monumental event much less doing anything else. (I do know that I would really make some financial and business strides in
Detroit if I really sunk my teeth in the area but that would require living there which won't ever happen in my lifetime. The opportunity is everywhere for those who choose to see it. I see it. I'd just rather work somewhere else...you know, where the sun actually shines more than once a week?!)
Maybe that's why I understand how I must keep moving forward and growing as an individual as well as a leader for other people. Being stagnant in anything isn't part of my operatus morandi. Detroit (and everything in it) remains stagnant. And I can't continue like that as a constantly growing individual.
I'm getting on a plane in a few hours, despite the snow storm. If God is willing, I'll escape this dreary abyss and return home tonight in one piece. Each time I return home, I am relieved that I'm back home, stress and all. (I've lived in California for 26 years.) And I won't be venturing back into the direction of Detroit anytime soon.
As we successfully kick off this New Year, I'm happy to report that I'm moving forward with so many incredibly awesome plans that there is simply no room for a "personal recession," if you know what I mean. Don't get me wrong; I only wish that things would have turned out differently and perhaps one day in the future, the tides will change yet again. But for now, moving forward to positive and greater things is the only option, or I'll perish.
So, I survived the Detroit ghetto in more ways than you'll ever know. Do I plan to return? Not for personal reasons but business always marches on (especially since that's what I live for).
If there is anything that's going on with you personally that needs to be "cleared out" then you need to start making that happen right away otherwise the greater good in your life will never come in. This can be as simple as cleaning out your closets and donating clothes you never wear or as difficult as moving to a new area of the country or giving up a long-time marriage.
How do you know what you need to let go of?
It's not always obvious but I've found that when I have this internal "nagging" feeling that something isn't quite right in a certain area of my life then it's worth a closer look to determine what the problem could be. If your relationship with your significant other isn't working, you've probably been unhappy for some time. If you're job or business is unsatisfying, you definitely have been entertaining new things to do for cash.
This is the year to change. First get rid of what isn't working. Then start introducing the things you want. You'll quickly realize that the life you've always desired is much closer than you think when you finally suck it up and move forward through (and to) the change, including both the bad and the good parts of it.
And remember too, I will be with you every step of the way.
For any of you who don't have my direct email address, this is what it is so don't lose it: mm@monicamain.com or monica_main@att.net. You can send me direct questions or tell me your success story. Just be nice because I'm one of those people who won't tolerate being a target to insubordination...or time-wasters for that matter. I think giving you my email address is important because we all need support time and time again. And it makes it much more powerful just to know you have the support there, even if you never end up using it.
Have you written out your New Year's Resolutions yet?
Better yet, have you created a Vision Board to visually show yourself what you want to accomplish in the New Year? (If you haven't done this yet, there's still time!)
One of the biggest challenges for many of my students is that they simply don't know where to start...so they end up wasting yet another year getting nowhere because they simply don't know where to begin.
It's like sitting at a desk piled with papers and you don't know what to start tackling first...so you sit there and do nothing like a deer in the headlights.
Clean that damn desk of your life!
A "clean desk" or a clean slate is what you need right now before we kick off the New Year.
If you don't know how to "clean your slate" and ready yourself for your New Goals and New Life then you need to watch these 2 videos.
You will need about 30 minutes of quite time so lock yourself in a room with a pad of paper and a pen. We're going to do this right now.
I've also included 2 download forms you can use to start building your life with. Do the exercises on the forms after the video is over.
Then, if you really are serious about changing your life immediately, go to Walmart or Michael's or Staples and get yourself a poster board. Take the time to go online and print a bunch of pictures for your Vision Board. (Type "Google images" into Google.com and then type in the keyword to any picture you want. Double-click on any picture you like and then right-click on it to print it off. Then glue it to your Vision Board. Very simple, people!)
I'm not a huge fan of affirmations or visualization but I will tell you that a Vision Board is extremely powerful. This is because, when you place it in a space of your home where you can see it every day, your subconscious starts accepting these pictures as reality without putting up a "block" or negative thought about it. It just starts accepting them. Then, slowly but surely, it'll start accepting these things as a "fact" of your life.
I don't get everything on my Vision Board every year I do one. I only get about 85% to 90% of the things on the board. Not bad! Not bad at all!
If you don't want to do the Vision Board, here's an alternative:
1) Write a list of everything that you want. Each "goal" needs to be very specific yet needs to be in 3 sentences or less. For example, here's what I may write if I want to lose weight: "I want to lose 20 lbs. by June 1st. Additionally, I want to tone up and have a bikini body. I plan on doing this by working out 4 days a week for an hour a day on average, starting immediately."
2) You can have as many goals as you want but the rule is that it must be very specific. "I want to be rich" is not specific and therefore you won't get it!
3) Place the list in a sacred place. I have this little treasure box on my top dresser in my bedroom. I put my list in this box. I make sure my daughter or no one else can get to it, look at it, or even know it's there.
4) Do not look at the list at all. I know this goes against what all those goal-setting books say (i.e. "look at your list in the morning and at night everyday) but this works! You are only allowed to look at the list one time during the year (preferably in the summer) to see where you are on the list and if you "forgot" anything that needs more attention.
5) Otherwise, keep the list in the box, don't look at it (except for that one time) and you're not allowed to take it out until next year when you are replacing it with a new list. (You'll take the old list out and use it as a reference to fill in your new list by placing the items that you didn't meet/make or by discovering which items you want to permanently discard because it's not part of what you want anymore. Maybe that Bentley really isn't what you want because you realized that having a 7-series BMW is better.)
Every time I talk to my dad on the phone, all he does is complain about his job.
Now, for those of you who know the situation between me and my dad would understand why he hasn't been employed by my company for about 2 1/2 years now. Long story short, he was stealing from me...and that's not something I'll tolerate no matter who is doing the criminal deed.
So, he now works at Lowe's. Mostly he works there for the medical benefits since he's about 6 months shy of turning 65 where, I guess, he's going to be eligible for some type of government medical benefits.
When I talk to him on the phone, he goes on and on and on about how they keep cutting his hours, how their policies are stupid, and how he "really needs to get something else going on."
O
ne of the last times I talked to him, I finally had to ask:
"So, what are you going to do about it then?"
Silence. No response at all.
I don't care who you are. You are in this awesome land of opportunity on the verge of an economic boom that will blow your mind. And if you can't find something to make a great living at doing, you're simply not opening your eyes and paying attention.
In fact, in the years to come, making money doing most anything will be as easy as falling off a log. But, to make any money, you have to have a means of collecting that dough which is usually done in the form of offering the public a product or service of some kind.
I tend to lien heavily into offering products because you can duplicate as many of the same products as you want (depending on demand). Services are much harder to duplicate since you have to personally (or hire people) to do the service for each customer.
Let's think about some basic facts here:
1) You live in the United States. (I'm assuming this. Perhaps you live elsewhere but the majority of my students live in the USA. Not to say that there is less opportunity for you but I'm trying to instill a point here.)
2) You speak, write, and read English. (Again this is an assumption but if I'm wrong, you won't be able to read what I'm writing to debunk this fact, thus proving my point.)
3) You have an obvious desire to do something much grander than the mediocre that the rest of menial society may be okay with. (I'm assuming you have this desire based on the fact that you signed up for these emails at some point in time.) This means that having a job or doing something you dislike with your life just isn't going to cut it for somebody like you.
And items #1 through #3 are basically all you need to have in order to start the process of starting a highly successful home-based business (offline or online).
Now, here are a few things that you'll need that I can't assume you have or possess but they are extremely necessary if you are going to actually do something to move forward on this desire:
1) Motivation to succeed. I can't teach you to have this. You either have it or you don't. If you don't...well, good luck to you. I believe this is the point where we should part ways because no matter how much highly effective money-making material you learn, you'll never put any of it to use. You can, however, try to create a level of motivation to reach the "just enough" point to actually move forward. The only way I can possibly suggest you do this is by creating a scenario in your head of"how will your life look in 5 years if you don't do something else?" And if the 5-year picture in your head scares the crap out of you, maybe that'll lift you to the level of fire-under-your-ass motivation that you need to move forward. I don't know. (If you're as motivated as a wet dishrag then try that visualized scenario in your head and let me know if it motivates you to do anything more with your life.)
2) Willingness to learn the things you don't know. It really bothers me that some of my students immediately scoff at the idea of building their own website, especially since there has never been a better time in all of history when it's actually been easier to build a website! When you start whining about doing something, assuming it'll be much harder than it really is, and automatically start throwing up a wall to learning something new then you're doomed from the start. No, it's not an option for you to hire someone else to do it. Not that it's because it's not an option (because it is) but because you lose control of the entire process when you hire someone. To me, if you want to throw in the towel before you begin by making the false assumption that you "can't" learn something (probably because you don't want to try) and then you want to pawn the responsibility off onto someone else's shoulders to do for you then, well...maybe that person should be making all the money from the website they'll be building for you instead of you making the money off it. Seems only fair, right? With the amount of online video tutorials and customer service center help for website building that there is available today, only someone who is lazy and stubborn will choose to divert the responsibility to someone else. In which case, don't make money then.
Stick with your day job if you're not willing to take the risk and try something new.
3) Willingness to take a risk. Risks don't have to be "do or die." They can be so minimal that it's actually a greater risk to your future to keep living the way you're living now than to do something different. (Most people will never see it that way though.) What's the risk to decide to start a home-based business on the side, work the business on the weekends, and scrape together a few hundred bucks to start the business since you have such minimal overhead? What's the risk of "wasting" every Saturday and Sunday till June until you can build a successful online business that will potentially be kicking out $20,000 a month in your pocket in pure profits? (Oh, damn. All those useless televised sporting events you may have to miss out on to potentially start making about $250,000 a year, in your pocket after all expenses are paid out. How could you possibly even entertain making such a sacrifice? Those people who live in 3rd world countries have nothing on you and the sacrifices you have to make now, do they?)
As you know, 2014 is right around the corner.
And I can't wait!
Why?
Because I have this feeling in my gut that this coming year is going to be extraordinary. It's going to be the "kick off" year to many financially prosperous years to come.
But only if you have some type of money-making gig going on.
Otherwise...it's just going to be "business as usual" for you if you don't get off your ass and start doing something new and different.
Over the past week I've been leaking some credit repair secrets to help you get some of those nasty hard-to-remove delinquencies off your personal credit reports.
And I promised that I'd tell you about one final option for you to use in order to get the "impossible" that's not coming off...off for good!
It's very rare that it has to come to this...using the Big Guns. But it happens. Especially for things that just aren't coming off your personal credit reports that you really need to get off to boost up your FICO score.
So...what are the Big Guns, exactly?
It's actually quite simple.
The final element to use to get a stubborn delinquency is to file a small claims lawsuit.
Now, this won't work for a couple of things:
1) Bankruptcy
2) Foreclosure
This will work for everything else, even a judgment.
Now, as you know, you are limited in most counties to file a small claims lawsuit for a maximum of $5,000. In some counties, as long as it's filed against a company or organization, you can file as much as $7,500. Find your maximum small claims lawsuit amount against a company or organization in your county. It doesn't matter where the creditor is located provided that you live in the county where you will be filing the lawsuit. After all, this is where the "damage" has been done (where you reside) so you can legally file where you are.
In many counties now you can file your small claims lawsuit online, making this process super easy to pull off.
So, who are you suing?
You start off suing the creditor. Yes, that's right. You are going to sue the creditor.
Well, suing them for what?
Glad you asked.
You'll be suing them for the damage they are inflicting on your credit report by continuing to report misinformation and inaccurate information on your personal credit report. You'll also be demanding that they remove the delinquent mark on your credit report by giving them 1 of 2 options: (1) complete removal of the delinquent account, or (2) update to show account is current and has never been delinquent.
For this, the lawsuit will be in the amount of the maximum amount possible and allowable in your residing county. This amount may be $5,000 or $7,500. It may even be $10,000. Check with your county.
Now, this is the great part: the creditor will be forced to come to court from where ever they are located. So, if they are 3,000 miles away, guess what? They are hopping on an airplane to come to court.
And they don't want to do that.
Once they are served with the lawsuit, they will have to decide whether they want to come to court on the date specified or conform to the demands in the lawsuit which will be to (1) completely remove the delinquent account off all 3 credit reports, or (2) update the account to show that it's current and has never been delinquent.
Most of the time they will give into your demands, especially if they are nowhere near your residing county.
Now, here's the tricky part:
Many times counties have changed their serving requirements for a small claims lawsuit. In the olden days, you used to be able to send a certified letter with a return receipt (green) card. (In some counties, this is still acceptable.) However, in other counties, they will expect that the other party be physically served by a disinterested third party.
This is actually very easy to pull off. You simply type in "[City/State] Process Servers" in Google and you'll find more than a handful of process servers in any given area. Once you contact them, they'll ask that you mail them the documents for service along with a form that you can get through your court that the server has to sign, verifying the physical service of the documents.
Now, what happens if they are served and they don't show up to court?
It means that you get a default judgment against them and you get to collect the money you sued them for. So, congratulations but you may be $5,000+ richer at this point! (This is what you hope will happen, by the way. If this happens, they have to give you the money plus you turn around and show the judgment to the credit reporting bureaus who will then have to remove the delinquency or face the same lawsuit themselves!)
Lawsuits may seem like they are a drag to do but they are rather powerful, much easier to do than you think, and can definitely get the tough stuff removed off your credit report.
Why can't you do this with a bankruptcy or a foreclosure?
A bankruptcy is usually in a county courthouse. This means you'd have to threaten (and ultimately sue) a county court which...you can't do. They are legally exempt.
You could try to file a lawsuit for a foreclosure but usually these amounts are so high (tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars on your credit) that a piddly $5,000 lawsuit will do nothing to threaten or move the creditor to do anything.
However, you could try this route, especially if the creditor is far away from you. This means they'd still have to jump on an airplane and defend their position. There is a chance that they won't and that it'll be removed or updated.
Credit is everything, as you probably have figured out by now...especially after our economic nosedive and our recent banking calamity, banks need to ensure that you're credit worthy for a loan, credit card, or mortgage. And if your personal credit report doesn't represent your credit worthiness then you're screwed.
Okay, here's the final bit of advice on what to do if you have a delinquency or judgment on your personal credit report and you can't get it off by using the first 2 techniques I was telling you about over the course of the past several days.
You can use something called "Restrictive Endorsement." It's a very powerful tool that a lot of people know nothing about.
Here's the deal in a nutshell:
You notify your creditor by mail that you will be sending $X amount for XXXX account in 14 days from today's date. You will also be writing on the back of the check that the creditor understands and agrees that by cashing the check, they agree that the account XXXX has been financially satisfied as payment in full and that the account will be updated as such.
In 14 days, you will mail the check. Make sure that you write on the back in the endorsement section: "By cashing this check for $[DOLLAR AMOUNT], [NAME OF CREDITOR] agrees that account [NUMBER] is paid in full, is fully satisfied, and will be immediately updated to reflect this."
If it's a collection agency for another creditor, you'll write: "By cashing this check for $[DOLLAR AMOUNT], [NAME OF COLLECTION AGENCY] agrees that [ORIGINAL CREDIT] account [NUMBER] has been paid in full, is fully satisfied, and will be immediately updated to reflect this."
Please note that your account will be updated to show "paid" or "settled" but will not be removed. It will improve your credit score and will stop all collection activity but isn't as great as having something completely removed. (Sometimes you have to make sacrifices if all else fails.)
Also note that the dollar amount you send to them must be reasonable. Don't offer a $5 restrictive endorsement check when you owe the creditor $5,000. That's not reasonable. Reasonable is between 5% and 10% of the original debt.
Furthermore, I strongly recommend you don't send a check out of your own bank account otherwise if they want to be jerks, they can lien your bank account with the proper court judgment. Don't give them your banking information to make this easy for them to do.
Instead, give them a cashier's check (from a different bank you don't normally bank with) or, even better, a postal money order.
Once the money order is cashed, make sure you get a copy of it with the restrictive endorsement on the back so you have a record to have it removed.
Some important things to know:
1) Restrictive endorsement is not legal in all 50 states. It's not legal in New York, Ohio, South Dakota, and West Virginia. This means that if you reside in any of those states, you can't use restrictive endorsement. If the creditor is located in that state, they may claim that it's not legal. However, according to credit and banking laws, all creditors and lenders must abide by all states they operate and do business in. So, even if they are located in New York, for example and you're located in California, for example, they are still required to abide by California state law if you reside there, even if they are based in New York otherwise they are not allowed legally to lend money or credit in any individual state where a customer may reside if they aren't willing to conform to the state laws in that individual state.
Therefore, don't fall for the whole, "We aren't a restrictive endorsement state." Especially if you don't reside in a non-restrictive endorsement state as mentioned above.
2) Each state has different ways and requirements in which to use restrictive endorsement so make sure you check before doing it. Some require a letter to the creditor before sending the check. Others do not. Some require a longer time than 14 days for a legal notice beforehand. Make sure you check before doing it.
3) As already mentioned, don't write a check out of your own personal bank account. Consider a business checking account, a friend's bank account, a spouse's bank account (who isn't on the original credit account) or a Postal Money Order.
4) Make sure you write what's indicated above in the endorsement section of the check. Be sure to refer to the exact account number and the creditor account you are paying off. Also indicate that by cashing (not "signing" but "cashing"...since most companies never sign a check anyway).
5) Make sure that you send the notification letter with some trackable type of mail to prove when the creditor received the letter in case it is challenged later.
Once you send your letter (with date proof of when they received it via USPS tracking) to the credit bureaus along with a copy of the cashed check, you'll wait a few weeks to see if they've updated your credit reports. If they haven't then you simply send a copy of the letter, the cashed check clearly showing what the endorsement section shows, and it should be updated as a "paid" account as long as your state laws reflect that this is legal in your home state.
A couple days ago I wrote about how to remove a judgment on your credit report.
But what if, after doing the strategy I laid out (or if you've already repeatedly disputed it to the point where the credit bureaus refuse to investigate it again), it still doesn't come off your credit reports?
Here's a little nugget of information:
By the time a creditor (in the case of my example, Capital One) puts a judgment on your credit report, 2 things have happened:
1) They've put a lot of time, effort, money, and hassle into attempting to collect from you whereas they felt their final recourse was a judgment.
2) They don't really expect to receive any money from you since it's reached this point of time and expense on their part; threatening legal action against you apparently has never gotten to you and to them you're considered a "lost cause."
Knowing this information gives you a powerful advantage when you do want to have the judgment removed off your credit. This gives you what I call "bargaining power" since they completely wrote you off at this point anyway.
Now, a couple of things I should mention:
1) A judgment typically remains on your credit report anywhere from 7 to 10 years. If you're already "deep" into having the judgment on your credit report (i.e. it's been there for 6 years, say) then do nothing. Just "wait it out" and let it fall off. If it doesn't fall off at the 7-year mark, dispute it. From my experience, the only thing that stays on a credit report for 10 years is a bankruptcy.
2) If you're not deep on the judgment and it just happened, as in Ronnie's case, and you want to clean up your credit to raise your FICO to get your business credit rolling so you can start tapping into significant lines of credit then you're going to want to consider negotiating to get that judgment off.
Only you know if you fall into #1 or #2 above with the judgment(s) in question.
Now, before you consider picking up the phone to negotiate anything (since you don't want to send them a letter), you will need to know 2 things:
1) How much is the judgment?
2) How much can you pay to satisfy the judgment? (This can be as little as 5% or 10% of the amount owed so don't think it has to be half or more.)
There's a little-known secret called "Pay to Delete." This essentially means that you will call your creditor and make an arrangement to where they will accept a smaller "settlement" amount on your debt. In return, they will delete the account off your credit report as if it never existed.
Most creditors will deny they can do this. They will state that legally they cannot completely delete an account but that they can update your account as "paid." Don't let them fool you. They can, in fact, delete an account if you pay an agreed settlement amount. Don't fall for an "updated" yet "paid" status because it will still show that you had a delinquent account even though it's paid.
You are aiming for a complete delete. You need to be forceful and stern, letting your creditor know that since you already took the hit on your credit report with the delinquency or judgment, they can't do any more damage to your credit so they need to choose if they want a small settlement amount for a deletion...or not. It's their choice.
If they choose to delete the account when you pay a small fraction of what is owed, this needs to be in writing on their letterhead before you will pay them a single cent.
Also, many times after you make the payment, they won't delete the account or live up to their agreement (or they will be very slow with updating your account). However, that's okay. Once you have their agreement in writing and your cashed check, simply send those documents over to the credit reporting bureau and the account will be immediately deleted. Case closed.
What if your creditor won't agree to a "pay to delete" arrangement?
There is one last thing you can do to have a delinquency or judgment permanently removed.
And I'll tell you more about it in a couple of days!
See you at the top!
Your mentor,
Monica Main
www.MonicaMain.com
.S. On a personal note, today's my mom's birthday. She'd be 61 today had she survived brain cancer. Happy Birthday, Mom! I miss you so much!
