Years ago on Thanksgiving I saw my Aunt Rosemarie (my dad's sister) who I hadn't seen for a long time before that day. She's a nice lady, I guess. A little rough around the edges but most notably...dumber than a box of rocks.
Or at least that's what I started to think about her mental capacity (or lack thereof) after the heated argument I had with her during that Thanksgiving episode.
So, the argument?
Let's see, the short version of the debate/argument sort of went like this:
Aunt Rosemarie: "So, Monica, do you cook?"
Me: "No, I don't have time. I work 60 hours a week and make roughly $2 million a year so I never quite got around or understood the use of learning how to cook."
Aunt Rosemarie: "Really? You don't know how to cook? Anything?"
Me: "Well, unless you count scrambled eggs, spaghetti noodles, or a bag of popcorn...basically no. I don't cook. Anything."
Aunt Rosemarie: "Don't you think you should know how to cook?"
Me: "Uh, no. Not really."
Aunt Rosemarie: "But why?"
Me: "Because I run two companies. I don't have the time or the interest."
And on and on and on this boring, heated, angry, and unpleasant conversation went.
Maybe I should have poked the hot stoker stick right back into her face. Like..."Hey, Aunt Rosemarie. Why don't you divorce that lying piece of sh** husband of yours who is cheating on you and hits you? You know, the one that gave you an STD recently? Oh, wait.
That's right. Because you can't financially take care of yourself, you're stuck living with the pig until you die. But...as long as you can cook and all, everything must be A-OK in your simple-minded world. Hope you like your daily face-punchings from your loser husband.
You can probably take them better than most people being that you're head is made of rock and all. Maybe you can cook your way out of your situation."
Sorry to be mean but...no, sorry I'm not mean.
It's odd how someone can try to diminish what someone can't do regardless of whether it's actually important.
It further disgusts me that people don't realize what's really relevant. Like with my aunt, for instance. Why would cooking be relevant when she's in a situation that, well...completely sucks?
Maybe it's all she's got. You know, her only "claim to fame." And what better way to showcase something you're good at than to diminish somebody else in the process? Right?
One of the things I instill in my daughter's ripe and growing mind is this, "Learn to take care of yourself. Become independent of others...especially of needing a significant other to carry you through life."
This applies to both men and women alike. (Believe it or not, some men are in abusive domestic situations as well!)
Where am I going with all this?
Well, it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and it made me think of a huge reason as to why it's awesome that I get to sit at home with 3 cats and drink an entire bottle of wine while watching movies...instead of the alternative which is doing a bunch of work and spending time with people that suck.
It's also a reason to always be ready, willing, and able to take direct financial control of your life however you can (legally, of course) so you're not at the whim of another person or the economy or being broke and having no choices. Because that really sucks. Been there done that, for only a short time before I quickly kicked that life choice to the curb.
And best of all, a direct ticket to creating your own income streams so you don't have to end up like my aunt...only knowing how to cook and...knowing how to argue with those who don't.
My mom's favorite holiday was Thanksgiving. And she's been gone for 8 years now.
So...for the last 8 cruel, grueling years I've suffered in agony with each passing Thanksgiving because she's not here.
Here we are on Monday of Thanksgiving week. Most people pillaged the grocery store shelves this past weekend for food, stuffing, ingredients, turkeys, and a variety of other things for their Thanksgiving table on Thursday.
But I won't be enjoying the same holiday you will be. Instead I'll be sitting at home, by myself. My daughter will be with her dad's family. I don't see my own dad or brother except on very rare occasions. Thanksgiving isn't one of them.
One thing I will tell you is that the more wealthy you become means you'll be separated from your loved ones because of it. I've been lucky in that I'm the Goose that Lays the Golden Egg. (I wouldn't ever trade that position out to be the "other guy" in the equation.)
So...when you hold that title, everyone else will stand there with their hand out or, even worse, try to steal your Golden Eggs. Yes, that includes family, too. (Especially family!)
And this tends to put major stress and strain on relationships you may currently have in place with your friends and family.
I will never regret being able to take care of myself financially. (And pretty damn good at that!) What I do wish I would have rearranged a little differently is my display of wealth. Maybe I should have downplayed my wealth a little more and became the "Millionaire Next Door" rather than buying the $100,000 cars or the million-dollar house.
Oh well. What do they always say? Money will bring the best and the worst out in people.
Wait...that's not a saying of any kind, is it?
And who the hell is "they" all the time anyway? They don't know jack sh** most of the time.
It can be painful dealing with this disparity between your ability to make money vs. your entire friend/family base trying to get at it.
Unfortunately, the poorer your family/friend base is, the more "separated" you will become when you achieve wealth.
So...if you come from a middle class, upper-middle class or (even better) a wealthy upbringing with a financially solid friend/family base then you're in the best possible situation to be in because these people (1) won't have their hand out when you hit it big, (2) won't try to steal from you, and (3) won't be pissed off when you're bank account is exploding at the seams.
Believe it or not, this is why "success" is actually a fear people have. They're afraid their friends and family will either beg for money or steal it.
And trust me...they do both! (With much more frequency than you'd ever imagine.)
So...what do you do? Decide to stay in your current station in life?
Or...
Do you make money and remain the Millionaire Next Door to where no one really knows what you have and don't have. (This is a good route to take.)
Or...
Say "F*** it!"? And make whatever you want to make, roll around town in your Bentley, and just deal with the people who have claimed to be your friends and family all these years?! (This is the route I took. It comes with both pros and cons.)
Believe it or not, this is all stuff you have to figure out before you start banking huge sums of money with your real estate empire. It may seem insignificant now until you start rolling in some serious dough...then you'll see your posse's attitude change. And fast!
Even worse...you're going to have to figure all this out within a very short period of time. Try in 36 months...or less!
I found myself taken a little off guard when talking with a few students recently who had no clue as to what my Cash Flow Evaluator (CFE) Excel spreadsheet was.
And I was stunned.
How is it that these "students" of mine have been taking online mentorship groups, showing up to seminars, and have supposedly been reading through my courses on real estate investing yet none of them knew what the CFE was...which is the crux of how I teach students to analyze a property's cash flow?
Two (2) important things about the CFE:
1) I have the best analysis tool out there for analyzing cash flow properties.
2) Anyone who even remotely considers investing in a passive income cash flow property needs to use this tool before putting in an offer.
Since I'm in the position now where I just want to share my latest and last real estate investing secrets with all of my students and students-to-be, I'm going to give you the link to download the 2013 CFE. I also have a link on the download page to view the video tutorial which will show you how to use the Excel spreadsheet.
Remember, you need to have Microsoft Excel loaded onto your computer in order to use this software. Also, you must first save the file into your Documents before you'll be able to use the spreadsheet.
Once you download it, go to www.monicamain.com/cfe_tutorial_2013 to watch a quick video on how to find the cash flow of any passive income real estate deal you're considering.
You should never even consider doing a real estate deal without first doing an analysis of the cash flow. I've done thousands of hours in consulting with relatively smart people like doctors, dentists, lawyers, and even engineers who were told by a commercial real estate agent that the deal they were looking at was a "hot deal" and that they should "jump on it ASAP."
And they jumped on the deal.
And now they're losing the property because the deal was in a negative cash flow before they bought it but didn't know because they never analyzed the numbers on the property!
Of course, you won't end up in that position. Ever! Because you have the most powerful tool out there to help you with the cash flow analyses of any potential property deal you're looking at.
I started thinking about something the other day that I believe holds great significance.
I imagine all the people in the world being part of this gigantic tapestry being made to hopefully (one day) be completed. (Maybe then the secrets to the universe will be revealed in the picture that's been woven.)
Each person is a thread in this tapestry. Without one another (good or bad), we can't exist. After all, without the dark we never know the light. (Right?)
Except, of course, the tapestry would turn out much better if we all did the right things but, most importantly, we help other people.
I think the most important threads in the tapestry are those who can enrich other people's lives daily.
This is what I try to do with my students.
As I've neared my "I Quit!" date (next month on the 31st), I realize that I have too much work left to do. And when did this whole thing become about me?
I think I got to the point where I wasn't seeing the purpose of all this. I was in the "me-me-I-I" mode of thinking...becoming a whining little nag about students that wasted my time or drained my energy.
And always forgetting the students who have empowered me over the years with their success stories and their "ah-ha" moments I helped get them to. Or their pleas of "don't leave us now, Monica."
Because, after all, somehow I made it about me and not about you.
And it's always been about you. Or at least it should have been.
I think both teachers and students help each other learn. They always say, if you want to learn a topic super fast, teach it. Nothing is more true a statement than that.
I have found that my students have taught me a lot, made me strong/brave to do things I perhaps feared, and have given me a purpose all of these years.
As I'm nearing my "end date," I'm thinking..."Now what?! I thought I had it all figured out but it seems that I don't."
I do realize that I'm going into a different direction now. I think my students know too. I'm getting more away from the real estate training and more into the Aggressive Income stuff.
Starting next year, I'm going to be expanding on the Aggressive Income side as well as adding onto my Wealth Attraction stuff since that's done so phenomenally well for my students.
I don't want to be done teaching. I've realized that teaching/mentoring is part of my "thread" in the greater tapestry of life and that without that element, my life would essentially bring no meaning to both myself or anyone else.
What is your thread?
Sometimes it's not all about making money. You have to be a thread somewhere otherwise you become insignificant and basically a waste to the valuable resources on this planet.
For example, if you make a lot of money with a business or real estate, are you contributing to any worthy charities? Even better, are you planning on creating your own non-profit organization? (This is something that's been heavy on my mind lately -- creating a non-profit to directly benefit people.)
It's been said before that there's only one difference between heaven and hell; this difference is in whether people help one another...or not. And you can probably guess where you're at if everyone is selfish, only out for themselves. In the other place, everyone is a servant to one another, giving selflessly to benefit other people.
I've come to realize lately just how incredibly lucky I am. And I make it a point to feel that gratitude into the pit of my stomach each day. Yes, I have "problems." Who doesn't?! But the more I focus on how awesome things are, awesome things continue being part of my life.
If you want to start changing things around for yourself, I suggest you start being grateful for all you do have. No, this shouldn't be some once-a-year deal around Thanksgiving where you sit at a table, reciting a short list of everything you're grateful for. It can be something you do each day when you're driving on the freeway to work or driving home...or when you're at the store because you can buy things or when you're at home because you have running water.
I know...this all sounds trivial and you're thinking, "But Monica, you don't have any idea about my problems, do you?"
No, I don't. And I don't care. Do you want to know why? Because I've had battles in this lifetime that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. That's why. And I've gotten through them.
So unless you're on trial right now for a murder you didn't commit, you can't possibly top me in the problems you have that I haven't battled personally in this lifetime.
I get so tired of everyone being so "touchy" and "offended" and "appalled" by things these days.
Right before Halloween Walmart pulled a child's costume called "Naughty Kitty" because someone was offended by the name of the costume.
Puulllleeezzzzeeee!
I wish people would start finding a purpose on how they can benefit others rather than bitching about every freaking thing.
[In a whining voice:]
"Oh, that lady offended me because she said an ethnic explicit comment...to someone else other than me!"
"Oh, that company made a shirt with an offensive picture so they need to stop selling it otherwise I'll continue being 'offended.'"
"Oh, that manufacturer named a Halloween costume something I find to be 'dirty' so therefore they need to stop selling it to make me 'happy.'"
"Oh, that politician was texting a woman pictures of his gentiles so therefore he and therefore he should be fired...and then I'll be 'happy'"
"Oh, that guy over there looked at me and therefore he should be arrested because...well, he looked at me and he wasn't smiling...so I'm 'offended.'"
Is it just me or is it getting ridiculous.
To all these people who are so easily offended, I have this to tell you.
Think about people (who were perhaps even your own family members) who had to sit in a concentration camp for years! Then, imagine that had to be you.
And think about how many of the stupid things that would offend you right now that would really bother you if you survived something so extraordinary!
Absolutely nothing would bother you. That's what!
My point in all this?
If you're not contributing, you're not a good thread in society.
If you're one of those whiney people and complaining is your "thread," find another thread because you're destroying the tapestry.
Write a book. Teach a class. Donate your money or time to a charitable cause. Go help cook Thanksgiving dinner for homeless people. (If you ever do that, I guarantee you that all the things you thought were "offensive" will immediately disappear as you see the belly of what skid row looks like...and how fortunate you really are.)
My thread is to help people find financial freedom. And I've always enjoyed helping people find success in their own lives.
I should also mention that 2014 is my year for Aggressive Income. This means that Passive Income won't be something I'll be covering a lot of during 2014.
As you know, our Rite Aid meeting was this past Friday and it took me all day yesterday to "recover" from a rough plane ride coupled with being under the weather a tad.
Now that I have a little energy, I decided not to wait until tomorrow to give you the nitty-gritty on how the meeting went.
The meeting was about 20 minutes long but it seemed like we were there forever and a day. We met with the buyer who handles the "health supplement" category. Her name is Diane. Nice lady.
At first I thought she wasn't really interested in taking a male enhancement supplement intoRite Aid until I realized that she could really care less what the hell the product is as long as it has a high mark-up and isn't offensive to their customers.
I will tell you...one day (soon) when you get your opportunity to pitch to a buyer at a nationwide chain, you'll have to (1) know the inside and out of your product, (2) sell them on why your product is different than others like it, and (3) negotiate contract points from terms to cost per unit.
There's good and bad in everything...even things that seem "good."
How can getting a multi-million-dollar contract/order from Rite Aid be bad?
When any large company wants Net 120 terms, that's bad. That means they'd get a ton of our product and not have to pay for it for 4 months.
And guess what that requires?
Yep, you guessed it. Kick-ass business credit where we could "float" them these ridiculous terms.
And I'm not willing to do that.
The other thing Rite Aid (and others like it including Walgreens and CVS) wants is a national advertising campaign, usually in the form of nationwide television commercials.
And I'm not doing that either.
Been there, done that with television commercials and it's just not an effective means of marketing.
The good news is that they want our product in as "strips" meaning that we will put our product on a plastic hanging strip of 10 - 12 packages and they want to put it in the "men's grooming" or "child/parent planning" department. (I'm guessing that's where they sell condoms and the like.)
This will require no national marketing/commercials on our part which is exactly what I wanted.
So...was this meeting successful?
I would say so...since we will be putting our product in sometime next year in the form of "plastic strips" rather than how we originally intended.
When it comes to large chain stores, you can't "bow down" to what they'd like you to do. As with Rite Aid and everybody else, they want you to advertise their store for them. They want you to pay big marketing bucks to drive people into their store.
So if I had a Trim Spa type of product with an Anna Nicole Smith and I did national commercials, they would have taken us instantly.
This is why I like doing things "small" using my "drug dealer plan," which I explained at my most recent 2-day boot camp seminar. You don't need to go nationwide with a product and go into extreme debt putting out commercials, floating Net 120 terms, and buying boatloads of raw materials that you have to package when you can stay small scale and rake in $100,000 net per month.
And if you need more money than that then we have a problem with your financial management skills.
Also, I should mention that once one chain Rite Aid takes us in with the plastic strips, the rest are a piece of cake. We'll have Walgreens and CVS by the end of next year.
Did we do a lot of "work" to get here? No. Did we have "connections" to pull this off? Absolutely none.
We just picked up the phone and made some calls. Then we sent our product sample in upon their request. It was no more difficult than that.
Okay, I'm going to take a nap now. Now that I think about it, we've really kicked ass in the past year on this project. Time to rest a little.
Today is the Rite Aid meeting. I'm in Pennsylvania right now...getting ready for the meeting after traveling for about 12 hours yesterday.
So...wish me luck. (I'll let you know how it went in a couple of days.)
What am I doing with Rite Aid?
Well, many of you know that I have a health supplement company and last fall we started dabbling in retail distribution of our main health supplement product.
Since November 2012 when we officially launched our retail packaged health supplements, our business has exploded.
And this was with a very little idea as to what the hell we were doing. We sort of stumbled and bumbled our way through the business.
Now we have seasoned "pro" distributors and manufacturers coming up to us as trade shows wondering just how the heck we've covered so much ground in such a short period of time.
We have a secret. It's called the Kicking-Ass-and-Taking-Names-Later secret.
You simply have to bulldoze your way through any industry as fast and bold as possible. Only 1 of 2 things will happen:
1) You'll go down in burning flames. It happens. Instead of being upset (or worrying that this could happen), enjoy the ride down and hopefully you packed a parachute.
2) You'll become extremely successful (and very rich) in an extremely short period of time.
We're opting for the latter in most cases.
I keep telling people over and over again that it's no longer an option to work for someone for 2 to 3 decades just to (hopefully) get a retirement pension and (hopefully) a retirement check. Even if you could actually live off a couple thousand to a few thousand a month, what kind of quality of life will that be when inflation pushes up food, medication, and housing in the decades to come?
Here's the reality of what's going on...
Case in point: Ronnie has a cousin who retired out of the Detroit P.D. this past June. He's getting a pension. However, since Detroit filed for bankruptcy, they'll be cutting his pension to 10%. His pension will diminish to a measly $310 per month in the very near future.
And nobody can live off that. Not even a guy in a tent living in a forest.
So, you're thinking..."Well, that's Detroit?"
Actually, that's anywhere nowadays.
Every other week in California you're hearing about how state employees may have to receive an I.O.U. in lieu of a paycheck in any given pay period. If they want to give active employees I.O.U.s, I'm sure those receiving pensions are pretty close to being on the chopping block too.
It's just a matter of time, folks! All of those "secure" jobs and positions you thought were secure are the furthest from such a reality.
It's time to retrain your brain to start understanding the reality (and exciting future) of writing your own paycheck through life!
Last month I did my 2-day Underground Secret Event in Los Angeles. This was myDistribution Profit Boot Camp Seminar. It's the first and only event of its kind where I talked about Aggressive Income on Speed & Steroids.
What's distribution about?
We live in a country where Americans are a highly consumable public. We love to buy new crap. We buy and buy and buy...stuff our garages full of endless amounts of stuff then buy some more.
This buying activity will never stop. Americans will keep consuming and buying well more than they need or even want just because...that's the way we are, damn it!
So...it's time for you to start thinking about profiting from this American cultural nonsense by selling people something they want to buy. After all, 100 years from now most everything you know today will probably be gone including cars (we should be flying by then), computers (we'll have something different to replace them), and even workers (we'll have robots to do all the work).
What will still be around will be people buying stuff. Selling products will never go away. After all, 100 years from now we'll still be wiping our ass (thus needing toilet paper), brushing our teeth (thus needing toothpaste), and eating food (thus needing...food stuffs).
There's nothing more "secure" than whipping up and selling a product that a lot of people want to buy.
Our forte has been in the c-store (convenience store) and gas station market because it's an easy market to break into and you can quickly distribute any type of product (that can be sold in these types of stores).
This is something I've covered at great lengths at my last 2-day Boot Camp Seminar in LA.
(Check out the kick-ass testimonials from this event athttp://www.monicamain.com/videos_of_the_underground_secret_event_in_la.)
You can sell a simple bag of snacks or a type of liquor or "new and improved" gummy bears and make millions this way!
Or...you can sell clothing and/or accessories (or other things) through retail giants like Target.
This type of business is not for everyone. In fact, I will say that most people won't like that there is work and effort that's involved. However, if you want to get wealthy, you're going to have to put some elbow grease into it. My advise is to find something you like so it won't seem like "work" but rather something you think is "fun" instead.
And I'll let you know how things went with Rite Aid in a couple of days.
One of my biggest student "pet peeve" questions I get is this one:
"What should I do -- what should I invest in -- to make money?"
My answer?
"I don't know! How the hell should I know what you should do?"
It's this lack of responsibility of taking life by the horns that really gets under my skin.
And it's only going to get worse with our next generation.
I think everybody who knows me knows that I have a 5-year-old daughter. I'm pretty strict on her and I expect her to maintain a much greater level of responsibility than most people would for a 5-year-old.
Why do I do this?
Because in order for you to be "great" at anything, you only have to be 10% better than everyone else.
Considering the sea of near-deadbeats that are coming up through grade school, junior high and high school right now...even taking responsibility to be on time to school is 10% greater than what most kids would attempt to do on their own.
Pretty sad.
I told my daughter this morning that in a couple of years I'll have her walk to school on her own (with other kids and parents, of course). We ran through a listing of kids she'll potentially be walking to school with and, unfortunately, had to eliminate one of the neighbor kids across the street. Their names are Emily and Andrew (4th and 1st graders).
You see, Emily and her younger brother Andrew are perpetually late to school every day. In fact, it's actually considered a monumental accomplishment when you see that they get to school on time in any given month. And this usually happens maybe once a month, twice max!
I told Brie (my daughter) that unless Emily and Andrew both start practicing some time management skills, she won't be walking with either one of them to school any time in the near (or far) future.
The worst thing about this chronic lateness is that it's the mom's fault for being such a wimp when it comes to her own kids. She says, "Well, they usually find a project they want to do or they start playing with something..." Blah, blah, blah.
I actually told her, "That's when you snatch the sh** away from the kids and say, 'time to get out the door! Plenty of time to play with this after school.'"
In one ear and the out the other...
Unfortunately, my generation -- the Gen Xers -- are teaching Gen Ys some pretty freakin' bad habits that will ultimately bite them in the ass one day. Some of these Gen Xers think that being "more relaxed" and "laid back" with their kids (than their parents obviously were with them) is better somehow.
Well...better in the sense that if they want a pot-smoking video-game-playing loser dwelling in their basement at the age of 53, then I guess these Gen Xers are on the right path.
Except I don't want that with my daughter.
My parents were hippies from the 60s. I grew up as a vegetarian with a religion called Kriya Yoga. They wanted to be so far from "status quo" as possible that it's surprising I have any bearings in the world of capitalism. (I guess a cat always lands on her feet!)
I think the only thing that gave me a radar for entrepreneurialism was my dad who always kept hustling. He was always a small business owner, did fairly well for a middle-class breadwinner, and was always working.
And that's exactly what my daughter gets to see.
Just yesterday she said, "Mom, thank you for working so hard for me."
Yes! It's sinking in!!
Even better, instead of having her go to some kind of day care after school, I pick her up from school and she hangs out at the warehouse until 5pm when I leave. She pretends to work, makes "shipments" out of envelopes and fake stamps, collects "important papers" in folders, etc. I even put her to work by having her run a contract, form, or other paperwork to Lea. Or to tell Lea something important. Or to give someone a note.
The best thing about all of these little things I have her do is not that she does them perfectly each time (because she does) but that she understands a sense of responsibility and commitment to "processes" in general.
I feel like most people have difficulty in finding their way through life financially (and in many other ways). You can't blame your parents...even if it's really their fault. You now have to take responsibility yourself.
Just like I teach my daughter the psychology behind taking care of herself, I teach my students the exact same valuable lessons they can immediately use to change their lives.
Your only "hump" to get over is your mind and whether you'll pull the trigger (or not). That's the part I cannot do for you. All I can do is give you the strategies and techniques in the most precise step-by-step fashion and it's up to you to follow it.
As you know, I've finished my 2-day boot camp seminar in Los Angeles: the Underground Secret Event. This 2-day power-packed event basically covered a new strategy on product distribution and how to strike it rich getting a simple product in retail stores (and chains) nationwide.
And yes, I walk the walk.
In fact, on Friday, I have a sales meeting with Rite Aid in PA to get our product in stores nationwide. We've been able to make such incredible strides in our distribution business in less than a year!
And you can too.
The way the economy is now, you have to become an entrepreneur. It's not merely a "should I?" question to consider. It's more like, "when should I begin?" question to consider.
And you have to begin now!
The economy has shifted so severely that there is no "security" in working for someone else. The only security you can have is by working for yourself. Hands down!
It's Friday morning and I'm catching up on work...on my vacation. Weird, I know.
But I'm a weird duck anyway.
I didn't want to go on this ship trip (a.k.a. "cruise") to begin with and there's a sense of comfort in doing what I do all the time (and what I'm best at): work!
So here I am trekking back to Miami in the Caribbean on a ship and I'm working on my laptop. There are only so many Mai Tais anyone can (or should) consume and so many rays of sun the skin should take (without becoming a cancer risk) when one is ready to get back into the swing of things.
As I sit here, I started thinking about the direction I see the economy going and where I see myself leading my students in 2014 and beyond.
During a couple of my beach escapades in the past few days, I kept thinking about this one student of mine who emailed me last week. I won't tell you her name because I can't. That's right. I can't. (She has to remain in "hiding.")
You see, this student went to one of my seminar events years ago. It was an apartment building event. And she had physical signs of "survival," if you will. Her story is actually quite brutal. She was physically abused by her husband to the point where he almost murdered her one day. She survived but her physical disabilities from the incident were very clear.
And sad.
But this student is a survivor in ways we'd never imagine. She had to overcome so many trials and tribulations that make our "problems" seem like a cake walk through Disneyland on a breezy warm day.
Unfortunately (and I didn't have the nerve to tell her in the email I sent back to her) but she still has that "victim mentality" where she likes using her survival story as a means of getting sympathy from other people. And that's the part that rubs me the wrong way.
I can tell you that I've also gone through an extremely abusive marriage when I was in my early 20s. I was hit so hard just above my left eye that I still get stabbing pains in that eye periodically (and usually out of the blue). I was even told by a doctor that there is a likelihood I'll slowly lose eyesight in that eye to the point of blindness as I get older.
And I can also tell you that I went through 2 crippling battles with the government...both I had lost my ass with. And both had altered my lives in ways you'll never imagine nor would I wish on my worst enemy; all because of some business errors, misunderstandings of the law, and a business that went financially belly-side up that pushed the full blame of culpability on my shoulders. (If you don't know the law you're liable, even if you don't know the law. Note, if you are ever thumbing through a "business opportunity" magazine one day and see a business that could be awesome, it may actually be illegal. This is actually what happened to me. I started a business that I thought was legal and it turned out that it was "partially legal." Go figure!)
And right now, I have a spouse that lives in another state. I'm basically a single parent to a 5-year-old because her dad is the worst type of deadbeat you could ever imagine. I have been paying the guy both child and spousal support for years and yet he sees his daughter for a few hours on the weekends.
Listen, I'm not telling you all this because I want to make you sad. In fact, I've never told my students this stuff before.
I'm telling you this to make a point because the difference between someone who has a "victim mentality" and someone who doesn't is...
The someone who doesn't believe they are a victim keeps moving forward and doesn't use "the victim story" to prompt a response from people.
And I'll call that non-victim a "warrior."
That's the category I put myself in. A warrior moves forward without lingering on the "feel-sorry-for-me" bullsh** and concentrates on "what can I do now to move forward and make a better life for me and my family?"
Back to my student...or "former student" as she referred to herself as in the email to me...
Here we are several years after this seminar event she attended and it's apparent that she didn't do much with what was taught there.
Yes, it's very easy to use any physical disability as an excuse but that can only get you so far before it just becomes an annoying excuse.
Did you know that I've made millions off both eBay and the Internet while never seeing a person or talking to anyone on the phone?
Did you know that the majority of the time when dealing with real estate, I actually don't handle any of the elements of the deal at all from visiting a property to even talking to a seller or real estate agent on the phone? (Other people do this for me.)
Shucks! I guess I can't use any type of physical excuse to not succeed now, can I?
Yes, being a woman in real estate has always been extremely challenging which is probably why I'm a bitch, I tend to be pushy and angry when dealing with people, and I'm a "straight-shooter," as I'm routinely called.
But I've always known one thing and it's the same thing I hope you understand:
I've always known I have a choice. And you have a choice too.
Sit on your ass, make excuses, and rally a bunch of people to feel sorry for you with an elaborate pity story?
Or say f*** the past, focus on what you really want for yourself, and go get it without further ado?!
I've chosen the latter, obviously.
Stop making the "happenings" in your life be the defining elements of you and who you are.
Last weekend I was shopping with my daughter. I was crossing this section of the parking lot to get to the store where I had to grab my daughter's shirt and pull her back because this stupid hag of a woman was clearly not going to stop for pedestrians, as she's legally required to do so. It wasn't like I was just walking right in front of her car. We were well on our way on our path and she was at least 100 feet away before she whizzed around a bend and seemingly intentionally wanted to blow past us because, after all, she can't lose 3 seconds out of her "busy Saturday schedule."
Even more weird, she was a mom. She had a toddler strapped in the back seat. So...apparently she just doesn't care about other people and their kids.
I gave her the middle finger, yelled exactly what it meant (in case she didn't know) including a few other choice words with it, and watched her miserable face as she absorbed every bit of what I said. And it would have completely made my day if she would have stopped because I swear she would have gotten a physical parking lot beat down right in front of a department store. (Otherwise known as the PLBD or "parking lot beat down.")
Yes, I was steaming for the first 15 minutes as I was struggling to concentrate on shopping, whizzing around in the store in a circle, looking at nothing and being as pissed off as you can possible imagine while my daughter looked at me confused as to why we were on our 4th run around the entire store without stopping to look at a rack or picking up a single item. It irritated me beyond belief how freaking inconsiderate, rude, selfish, and ignorant people are. Then I let it go and quickly moved on after my 15 minutes of excessive anger.
The point?
A "victim" would make this a part of who they are. They would make something somebody else did to them as a part of who they are.
"Oh, poor me! This stupid bitch in this cheap ugly silver 3-series BMW almost ran me and my daughter down in a parking lot so...I must be stupid, useless, dumb, and a failure in life otherwise...why would somebody do something like that to a good person like me? I guess I'll always be a loser so why bother trying? In fact, while I'm at it, I'm going to repeat this stupid-bitch-in-a-cheap-BMW story over and over again to as many people as possible so that I can get a whole bunch of people on my side about how awful my life is turning out."
Do you see how stupid that type of victim mentality is?
Yet this is what those with a "victim mentality" do...just on a larger scale.
A warrior would say something different such as...
"It's apparent that the extremely overweight bitch in her cheap BMW not only has very low self-esteem -- thus not valuing the lives of others let alone her own useless self -- but she was probably in a super hurry to get across the street to get to the food court at the mall to stuff that fat pie hole of hers. After all, it does take quite a few thousand calories every few hours for her to maintain that hefty figure of hers and she was probably going through food withdraws since the 4,500-calorie lumberjack breakfast she ate was only an hour before. Her stomach must've been rumbling up a storm, scaring her toddler in the backseat to distraction."
(Okay, I know this must offend some people but I really don't care. I used to be overweight and I learned something called self-control and discipline which means I eat fewer French fries and I work out 45 minutes a day. Furthermore, everyone -- politically correct or not -- has their own "things" they say in their minds during their most irate and angry moments that they wish they could express just as a form of release. This is actually a very normal emotional and psychological response when put in situations that piss you off. And if you don't admit it or state that you never have a negative angry thought in your mind ever, you're either a liar or you're simply not human. You get to choose which that would be.)
As you can see, the "happening" in your life -- no matter what that is -- doesn't become "part" of a warrior. It just becomes an "unfortunate event" that isn't taken personally. Why? Because sh** happens to everyone. Period. No one is "immune" to piles of sh** occurring either daily, weekly or monthly. How you process it though determines what kind of person you are.
The warrior might be pissed off for a moment but then eventually they move on with their path and productive lives. They don't let the "victim thing" define who they are nor do they use it as a feel-sorry-for-me pitch for anyone who cares to subject themselves to the verbal torment.
There isn't a damn thing I can ever do for you as a mentor or teacher in your life if you first can't get past any possible "victim mentality" hang-up that you may have. You can either choose to blow off the things that "happened" to you or you can choose to hang onto it as if it's part of your identity.
I'm recommending you blow it off and move forward. The faster you can make that happen, the better.
Here's a direct request:
Don't get involved in any course, mentorship, or seminar I have unless you are a warrior. Period.
I have no use for "victims" or those looking for a crutch. I can't be either one for you. All I can do is deliver the information and it's always going to be up to you to engage by putting the teachings into action.
Yes, the stuff I teach works and it works very well. Yes, it can make you wealthy in the shortest amounts of time possible.
What I can't do (as much as I'd like to) is slap you in the back of the head and say, "Stop it! Stop acting like a freaking victim and grow some balls already!"
I'm going to say this one last time in case I wasn't clear enough.
I'm really serious about "cleaning out" my student database as we roll into 2014 since I only want to work with people who really want the highly profitable information I teach by demonstrating that they're willing to put it into action.
While I was conducting my last seminar, I had a student come up to me and say, "I've bought all your stuff but I haven't used anything yet..."
Gee, thanks! (That's the wrong way to open up a conversation with me, by the way!)
I'm not like other gurus out there who don't care if you buy their $300 book and use it as toilet paper because I actually do care if those are your intentions.
I actually want you to use my stuff and become successful using my stuff.
You should know by now if you're a person who "does" vs. someone who "doesn't." And a person who "doesn't" can't be helped no matter how many courses or books he or she buys.
Again, it all comes down to choice. You always get to choose what to do with your life. And you can always start choosing something else in a split second.
Right now I have guests from Detroit staying with us. They've been here in California for the past week almost and they're awesome people.
Caesar, the guy staying with us, is retired out of law enforcement. He had a couple of big retirement parties thrown for him, one of which I threw for him. This was the last time I was in Michigan since the appeal for going back and forth between 2 states has really worn me out.
He's been retired for a full 4 months with a nice fat pension that actually exceeds what his paycheck was when he was still on the force.
And guess what?
He's already talking about going back to work.
He's been retired for 4 months with a nice hefty check coming in regularly plus a nice little nest egg he's built up for the past 3 decades and he wants to return back to work in his old position he left.
If you think "freedom" is not working, think again. The definition of not working and sitting around on your ass is called "boredom" and not "freedom."
I think a lot of us dream of the day when we don't have to work anymore but if you closely analyze what that dream really is, you'll realize (for most of us) that it's about not doing what we don't want to do anymore. It's not really about not working (unless you're my lazy ex-husband...then it's really about not doing anything).
When you're doing something you like doing, is it really "work"? I don't think so.
One of the things that gotten me my "groove" back (after coming dangerously close to a nervous breakdown from working too much) is my newer business which started out as a small New Wealth Ninja business...as an experiment for a book I was writing (and haven't finished yet).
Since I know myself and what I'm capable of, I figured I'd be my own best experimental guinea pig. I couldn't rely on my "average" student because the "average" person doesn't have the same drive, motivation, and work ethic that I have. So, I had to use myself as my own experiment when doing research for my New Wealth Paradigm book I had intended on writing. (I think I'll change the book's name to The Main Way to Wealth. It has a better ring to it.)
This is how my health supplement company started...as a "project" to write about.
Now it's a multi-million dollar company. All because I needed a "case study" for my New Wealth Ninja teachings.
How did I get my "groove" back with the new company?
I do a lot of design work for packaging as well as marketing pieces, postcards, brochures, etc. I notice that time flies when I get in my "creative zone" and I literally lose track of time. It was these bouts of "creative zone time" that pulled me out of a slump.
This is when I realized that I could never retire and sit around the house doing nothing. I hate being home as is let alone being stuck at home for months by myself. What the hell would I do with my time?? What a nightmare that would be!!
You're probably a lot like me in that you don't mind working provided that it's doing something you like. And my New Wealth Ninja stuff is right along those lines of finding some easy-to-do home-based business that you'll enjoy while making loads of money.
I did my first New Wealth Ninja trainings last summer (2012). I had one student in the group who was part of my first NWN mentorship and got the videos from both of my summer in-office trainings. His name is Gregg.
Gregg couldn't afford to attend my NWN in-office trainings as much as he says he wanted to so he took the course materials, NWN mentorship and dissected the videos over and over again until he "got" it.
Gregg didn't have the option of dilly-dallying around as a typical tire-kicker student that I tend to have to deal with. He had a small business and ended up losing it in the recession. He lost his home, his car, and even his wife.
Let's just say that Gregg was at rock bottom financially.
Gregg was a student of mine since about 2010 via my real estate courses. He, like many students, got my stuff and started working with it but "life" got in the way and he lost focus. He was just too busy with family and work that he didn't do anything at all with any of my real estate teachings. (And that admission in the email he wrote to me made me sad.)
But (he went on to tell me) that it literally took him having to lose everything for him to "wake up" to do something else with his life. As with many students (who have reported the same thing), when I introduced my NWN stuff in the spring of last year, it was at just the perfect time for thousands of my students who needed it the most.
Gregg decided to use my strategies and techniques that I teach in NWN to start a small eBay business. I can tell you what he sells. (Health supplements.) I can't tell you what his eBay user ID is...but I will tell you that when you type in "weight loss" in the eBay search bar, you'll see his supplements come up in the first 5 listings, guaranteed.
Two weeks ago when Gregg reported his latest update on his business progress via email, he told me that he's now making over $60,000 a month with his business. No, that's not gross. That's his net profit.
Amazing, isn't it?!
Now, it did take Gregg over a year to get to this $60,000 per month net profit amount but, as he's directly indicated to me, he was making $10,000 net within his first 6 weeks of starting and it just went up from there.
Not bad! Not bad at all!
In his exact words, this is what he said in his email about how he was able to start making money.
"...I just did what you said and started to hustle. You said in one of your trainings about how you'd never be worried about losing everything because you'd get your ass in gear and work your ass off round the clock until you set up your business. What made the most sense to me was how you talked about emulating other people with businesses online and that's what I did. I took the top 3 sellers of health supplements on eBay and basically copied everything they did without committing plagiarism. I also took your advise about naming products and creating product labels that stand out."
This is just a short except from his lengthy email. Here's another short except that I think you should read:
"Deep down inside of me I knew that I always wanted to have the flexibility of a home business but didn't know exactly what to do to get there. I thought it was out of reach for someone like me who isn't really that smart when it comes to any type of marketing. Right now I work about 6 hours a day and the rest of my time is my own. (This isn't some 4-Hour Work Week business and anyone wanting to take the lazy way out won't do well with the New Wealth Ninja teachings you do.) I never thought I'd actually have a business that would be successful like this and it's great!"
People do significant things when there is a need. Gregg was in that position of need. Maybe you are too. I don't know. But when we're forced up against a wall, we suddenly become capable of kicking some ass and taking names later.
You may be in that "in between" state where you know you need to do something else but you are comfortable enough to where need hasn't been forced on you. Why wait until that sense of "need" is forced down your throat before you decide to do something else?
