This coming Saturday will make 9 years that have passed since my mother died of brain cancer. Although it seems that I've gotten over grieving her death a long time ago, it seems that my brother is just coming out of his own grief.
Having had a conversation with him this past weekend, he was talking about how he's whipping his ass into shape, laying off the drinking, and looking into some profitable business opportunities. This is all stuff that he wouldn't even consider just a short 6 months ago.
He doesn't know it but I know what's going on. He finally got over my mother's death which he took very hard, sending him into a bottomless spiral of drinking and personal life destruction. Now that he's automatically thinking differently including exercising his ass off, juicing with this new juicer I got for him, and making a concerted (and much easier) effort to stay abstinent from drinking, he finally got "over" my mother's death.
Time does heal all. But the time that's required to heal for some people is much different for others. What can take a few months for some can take years or even decades for others. And I don't have any clue what the "secret" to rapid healing is or if there is such a thing for certain people. I think healing itself has to run its due course when it pertains to everyone and matters of the heart.
Many of you know my own personal relationship/marital battle that I went through with Ron Espinoza. Something strange happened to me yesterday. I was thinking as I awoke and realized something. I had just gotten "over" the entire relationship.
Yes, just like that.
One day I was still clinging onto an endless false hope and then, just like the snap of a finger, I realized it was over. And my heart was instantly freed.
What did it take to get to that "instant moment"?
Years of pain, toil, logic-lacking based "hope," and much emotional torment. That's what it took to get to that moment.
Some relationship "experts" will tell you that it takes exactly half of the time you were in a marriage to get over it. That's complete bullsh**. Some people can get over a relationship or marriage in a few months. Others...years. Maybe never for some.
But...is there a catalyst or some "thing" you can do to help encourage faster healing?
I don't really know. I can tell you what worked for me.
Just as with anyone with a substance abuse problem, counselors will tell you that you have to disconnect with everyone having to do with the "problem" including your circle of friends, enabling family, even regular hang-out spots, and, in some cases, you need to completely move from your locale altogether. Go to some different city and start over.
That seems to promote healing faster.
There is some truth to that.
Many of you know that I've been on a strict and very short-planned (9-month) life change that started in January of this year. Ever since I put the plan on paper, it's like a train on a track that started taking off on this pre-planned path all on its own, sort of with a mind of its own too! (That's why it's critical that you get the plan the way you want it otherwise you'll end up railroading yourself!)
Some of you know that I was accepted into the UCLA Professional Program for Screenwriting. I was just accepted into the UC Palm Desert MFA Program for Creative Writing. Both start in September.
Concerted and conscious change.
I realized that my office/warehouse as well as certain employees were draining my energy and my finances. So, I fired those that weren't working for me and I moved warehouses.
Concerted and conscious change.
I made a decision that, instead of lingering around in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere, I'd be cutting all ties after my September event which, conveniently, would be the same time all of the business loose ends would be tied up for good. (Unfortunately, when tying up business loose ends, it doesn't happen as quickly as packing up someone's crap and tossing it out onto the sidewalk.)
Concerted and conscious change.
Instead of following through with the book proposal that one particular New York publishing company has been suggesting I do for the past couple of years, I decided to come out with a much different proposal altogether that would help more people in a much more beneficial way.
Concerted and conscious change.
And I can go on and on...
And no, I don't know what the result will be on any of the new stuff I'm doing. But I don't care. When it's time for you to make some major changes, take responsibility and startmaking the changes. What are you waiting for?
You can do more than you think and you are not at the whim of merely standing on a planet that's just whipping around through the universe through each season, each year, and each decade. You can make your own concerted and conscious changes to see where it takes you.
But here's the "secret" that I've been getting at here.
In order for new stuff to come in, the old stuff has to go. No new stuff can come in with old crap that's lingering in your life and tapping out your energy.
This includes getting rid of relationships (of any kind) that aren't working, as much of a pain in the ass that it'll be to get rid of that person (or those people). You have to bite the bullet and do it. Get rid of them! Now!! Before they consume the rest of the life you do have on this planet.
This includes getting rid of a job or business or career that you don't want anymore. Is it prudent to just quit your job? Not really. But if you put an action plan in place (like the one I did at the beginning of this year) and make small efforts each day to get to where you're going, you'll notice that a lot of stuff will "automatically" start happening for you. (Remember the train track that I was describing? Once the track is laid out, the train starts moving and a lot of times it starts going much faster than you anticipated.)
I recommend you take a look at my time line by
clicking here. It'll really open your eyes at how I am doing it and how you can do something so simple to make some major significant changes in your life.
Part of what I've been doing to quickly further these changes is by signing up for events, attending them, and maximizing the benefit of being there by networking, taking copious notes, and implementing everything I've learned.
You have that opportunity to do that with me in September for my last planned event. I'm also offering my sought-after million-dollar resources for a super kick-ass deal right now. For more information,
click here.
Making significant changes in your life is pretty easy but it starts with deciding, creating the plan, getting the education and resources needed to implement the plan and then going for it...never looking back!
See you at the top!
Your mentor,
Monica Main